Operator, Get Me A Killer EP...

       A Lesson In Crime by Tokyo Police Club has the single greatest opening line of any album produced, ever. It's really fruitless for any other band to try and top it.  I'm sure many would argue with this statement by citing a variety of landmark artists and records. Alas, it would be sad to watch them all fight so vociferously, only to remain dead wrong. Creating a concept album of angular, jacked-up adolescent indie pop centering around the world being taken over by a master robot alien race is a tricky enough proposition. Doing it in a mere 16 minutes and change, on a 7 song EP, is downright magical.  There is no better way to start said album than with furiously crashing cymbals and the linguistic brilliance that is "Operator, get me the President of the World...this is an emergency."
        By this point, if you're still reading, you either agree with me (while wondering how any band could possibly produce music to match that opening) or you're hoping the robots kill me first. Thankfully, these four Canadian nerd-throbs managed to create an album that not only did everything mentioned above, but also revitalized my hope that new bands could do things, period. This album was released in 2006 during a time in my life when I was convinced nothing good had come out by a band formed after 1993. Despite my musical history being a veritable litany of miscalculations and errors, these sprite young fellows showed up on MTV's website, which promoted their new album.  To be honest, I can't even take credit for finding them.  That prestigious honor goes to one Mr. Sausage, a college comrade of mine, who still had faith in the musical landscape of our world (and apparently used to be real into the MTV website). Turns out, it's a damn good thing he did.

       "Cheer it On" is a bouncy, joyous tune of robot murder that sets the mood for the majority of this record. Angular guitar riffs dance around, a funky fuzzed up bass keeps your head bobbing,  and a militaristic drum steadily beats the groove while a droning synth gives you the sense that there might be some overarching entity watching and recording your every move. (Hey, wait a minute...) "Nature of the Experiment" follows and delivers well with a similar formula. It allows for a little more space in the drum pattern, plus it also gives you the first taste of random, fantastic secondary vocal yelps. Not to mention it shows that in only a blazing two minutes, it's somehow possible to create a tune that has an excellent instrumental breakdown.
      Next, handclaps and synth smoothly transition you into a zone of false comfort in the first verse of "Citizens of Tomorrow".  This comfort is expertly interrupted by the introduction of the guitar, drums and screamed vocals, which is the heart of what happens to be my personal favorite track on the album. Thankfully, their proclamation that the animatronic overlord Armageddon would happen in 2009 turned out to be false. (Or did it?)  Either way, your first lesson in how to potentially rise up against these evildoers is brought to you in "Shoulders and Arms".  It contains shimmering cascades of guitars and a great loud-quiet/quick-slow dynamic throughout that continues to show the versatility possible in such a small space.
        Having seemingly failed in defeating our oppressors, "If It Works"showcases a rolling drumbeat and a high in the mix bass building to a suddenly quiet "transmission from your robot masters"-esque silence that ends abruptly with the return of the next verse. Perhaps all faith isn't lost just yet. "Be Good", a last ditch effort to retain humanity, is another favorite of mine that repackages all of the elements seen throughout the first five songs into a shiny new treat. A guitar/bass combo kicks in at the 30 second mark and is the kind of musical moment I wouldn't mind having as a personal theme music. Due to the similarity throughout, some critics worried about their follow up albums' potential to become a stale rehashing of old ideas (turns out, they were great and unique instead). 

Die you robot scum!

       The album closes with the most obviously unique track, "Le Ferrassie", starting off almost entirely absent of the desperation, pace and style of everything else we've heard up to this point. It would seem the robots have defeated mankind as a spooky synth line accompanies a downtrodden vocal delivery. At the midway point however, similar musical themes re-emerge, giving the listener hope that perhaps Neo will one day know kung-fu. Having been stuck in my own barren wasteland of a musical rut when exploring new bands, this album provided the same glimmer of hope, like the quintessential blade of grass growing through a crack in the asphalt. Taking the time to look back, music can be a fantastic way to chart your (hopeful) growth as a person. Doing so can also help to remind me that things I'm hesitant to investigate right now may someday become all I want to listen to and talk about in the future (if the robots let us).


Final Score: .88 You're Living All Over Me's

Thus Spake Shy Guy

Bands are amazing. Well, not all bands, but rather the concept of two or more different people collaborating to create music out of thin air. Often, all they have in common is a vaguely defined shared aesthetic. Sometimes not even that much. The fact that people can temporarily set aside their differences and create something bigger than themselves gives me some hope that the human race is more than just a giant clusterfuck flying through space.

Due to the volatile nature of human relationships, bands often fizzle out before achieving their full potential or, if they’re lucky, only have a few years of optimal output. Catching a band in the “prime” of their creative window is one of the most exciting things an avid fan of music can experience. This is the excitement I felt when I first laid ears upon Sucraphrenia by Shy Guy Says.

If you’re asking yourself “Shy Guy Says? Isn’t that a Mario Party mini-game?”, the answer is “yes”, but it is also a very cool young band from Illinois. You should listen to their album Sucraprenia immediately, if not sooner. It’s a short 11 tracks, clocking in at just over 34 minutes. Here is a link to their website, where they are currently streaming the album. Self-described as “undefinable”, the band has an admirable DIY attitude. I was instantly attracted to their similarities to math-rock acts like Rooftops, Sharks Keep Moving, and early Minus the Bear.

I was intrigued as soon as I heard the chime-like guitar and barely comprehensible radio voice on the intro track “nova”. It flows seamlessly into “if the shoe fits”, which first showcases some of the sonic qualities that make this album great: shimmering guitar lines interweaving over driving, yet loose drums. The vocals are often soft and understated, but perfectly complement the songs. “Lacus veris” is a short instrumental interlude that sets the stage for my favorite track, “oxytocin”. The band's talents are in full display here: bright, contrapuntal guitar melodies, inventive drumming, and perhaps the best lyrics on the album. The vocal performance starts off almost somber, but subtly gains in intensity as the song evolves, before ending in a frenzied instrumental breakdown. The next track “cool side” has an atmospheric intro, briefly recalling the work of Doug Martsch with Built to Spill, before changing tempos and melting brains with a jam that is the spiritual successor to This Is What I Know About Being Gigantic. Another highlight for me is the funky, laid back noodling of “metafog”. Yet again, Shy Guys Says shows a prodigal mastery of changing tempos and dynamics, which keeps me enthralled and my head bobbing. The album is rounded out with the crystalline harmonics of “warp zone”, the appropriately slow drawl of “keanu reeves”, and the ever-intensifying “white space conflict”.

Sucraphrenia is the type of album you can listen to straight through without even realizing it. The songs often flow effortlessly into one another and explore different variations of an overarching musical theme. This combination of creativity and commonality makes Sucraphrenia more than just a collection of songs cobbled together by a young band. It’s a monument to the ability of imperfect humans to work together in harmony towards a shared goal. I’m not sure if Shy Guys Says is actively working on a new album, but I hope they are, because Sucraphrenia shows that these young, talented individuals are more than capable of gelling together to form an original, coherent musical creative force. Maybe there is hope for us after all.

This fucking guy...

Final Score: .91 Animals

Fishbulb Challenge #1: More Like Cockwork...

From time to time, IFL and I will challenge each other to review specific albums. Ideally, the albums will enlighten (or torture) the reviewer. Either way, we’re guaranteed a fresh perspective.

           My first real experience with the Queens of the Stone Age took place in or around 2004 at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert somewhere in Ohio. It was my first time seeing RHCP live and I was excited enough to tear my shirt off in a fit of passion. The Queens were the opening act. Of course, opening acts can often be surprisingly good and add value to the concert experience. However, in this case I was not in the mood to have my horizons broadened and they symbolized the last barrier between me and my Frusciante face-melting destiny. Their angular riffs just seemed stupid and abrasive to me. The vocals were incomprehensible. I felt like I stood there for hours, suffering through song after seemingly identical song. It was on that day that I decided: I hated the Queens of the Stone Age.

           My gut reaction when IronFishLantern sentenced me to multiple listenings of QOTSA’s new album ...Like Clockwork, was predictably one of disappointment. How could ‘RonFish be so cruel? He was well aware of my anti-Queens stance! He’s practically begging for a retaliatory Gary Cherone era Van Halen review challenge.

           Okay, so maybe that’s a little dramatic. In reality, I’ve been softening to the Queens for a few years now. I’d seen them open up for other bands a few times since the original ear-raping and I was willing to concede that they weren’t awful... I was willing to chalk up the first time to a bad set on their part and high expectations on mine. Through IronFishLantern and other sexual acquaintances, I became familiar with some QOTSA songs that I really, really liked. The infectiously syncopated “Better Living Through Chemistry” and gritty “Feel Good Hit of the Summer” from 2000’s Rated R opened my eyes to why so many people whose musical opinions I respected were recommending the Queens of the Stone Age. With that tale of failed first impressions and subsequent redemption in mind, I give you my review of ...Like Clockwork.

           There are definite sexual undertones throughout ...Like Clockwork. Not in a cheesey, overt way; it’s almost as if Homme can’t help but taint anything he creates with the subconscious echoes of his own repressed urges. The effect it has on the album is huge. It permeates almost every song with an aggressive helping of sexual tension, which keeps it from sounding like other promising, but ultimately generic cookie-cutter, modern alternative rock albums (see Zeitgeist by The Smashing Pumpkins or Wasting Light by the Foo Fighters). Speaking of the Fighters of Foo, Dave Grohl contributed drums to a number of tracks, as well as an impressive list of collaborators, including Elton John, Trent Reznor, and the Arctic Monkey’s Alex Turner.

           On “Keep Your Eyes Peeled”, the album opens with the sounds of breaking glass followed by a reverberating, sludge-drenched guitar riff. It’s like the music to the Sega Genesis game Cyborg Justice on acid. In a good way. Josh Homme’s falsetto moaning and growling vocals swirl over the quasi-perverted rhythmic instrumental interplay. “I Sat By The Ocean” changes gears with a rocking, upbeat guitar intro and handclaps in the pre-chorus.

My personal favorite track is “If I Had A Tail”. It saunters into your eardrums with a Rolling Stones-esque guitar riff that could make a dead Keith Richards cum. Homme conjures a horned up David Bowie as he sings some of the most explicitly sexual lyrics on the album. The guitar solo is, again, pure Keith Richards. So brief and restrained, yet satisfying, like an impromptu fling with a co-worker during your lunch break.

A low point for me is the guitar intro to “My God Is The Sun”. To me, this recalls everything I originally didn’t like about the Queens of the Stone Age: a harsh, angular riff being stupidly forced down your throat and repeating into eternity. The rest of the song redeems itself enough where I clicked the “thumbs up” next to it in my Google Music, but this type of guitar riff turns me off every time --and I’m one to forgive great depths of guitar wankery and mal-riffage.

“Kalopsia”, featuring lyrical contributions from Alex Turner, is a contrastingly gentle ballad that starts off slightly reminiscent of “Porcelain” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers then explodes into a feedback laden sing-along finish. Another bright spot is “Fairweather Friends”. Elton John’s driving piano and Trent Reznor’s screaming backing vocals help make an already good song into one of the best on the album.

The Queens summon a late-70s Zeppelin-style disco metal sexbeat for “Smooth Sailing”. Homme again utilizes falsettos and overdriven growls as he “blows his load all over the status quo”. All accented by a guitar solo that would bring color to Jack White’s pallid flesh and an intense sonic buildup/release near the end.

I don’t know much about Josh Homme’s personal life, but like most people, I’m sure he’s a complex guy with his share of hang ups and vices. I can’t help but feel like these “negative” qualities of his personality had a very positive effect on the shape and sound of ...Like Clockwork. A more zealous reviewer might attempt to draw Freudian parallels between specific elements of the album and certain events in Homme’s personal life. I’m content knowing that no artist is able to completely remove themselves from a creative work. The best learn how to use their strengths while minimizing the self-indulgent side-effects. By this measure, Homme and company did a stellar job of creating a uniquely accessible album that gives equal emphasis to the talents and faults of the creators.

Perhaps the truest testament of the auto-proselytizing, redemptive goodness of ...Like Clockwork has to do with Biff, my brother. Biff had a similarly awful Queens of the Stone Age opening act experience at Lollapalooza several years ago. Biff spent hours on an oppressively hot day in a rowdy, sweaty pit (waiting to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers!) and was psychologically scarred by the incredibly loud, boorish guitar bashing that held him hostage on that fateful day. The other evening, when I was giving the album a listen, Biff dug it and couldn’t believe that it was the same band that buttfucked his ears in Chicago.

Ginger Elvis

Final Score: .80 Animals