Why not write a song about having a one night stand with a married woman?

Something bizarre happens when people meet.  

There is a 50% chance that the conversation turns to music, which is a conversation I both welcome and at the same time eagerly anticipate.  Sometimes I like to try and musically stereotype new people, "You strike me as the type of guy who only listened to Blondie because Debbie Harry always had THO in her pictures,” or “this girl must really love remixed versions of that song the Quad City DJs produced for the movie Space Jam,” and so on or whatever etc.

 

But there is an innocent question that always works its way into that conversation that used to drive me crazy....

“What type of music do you listen to?”

Because, how the fuck do you answer this?  

In the past couple years I’ve realized the answer isn’t really what matters.  It's like being on a job interview... you’re just proving you can handle human interaction without sounding like a pretentious asshole or an apathetic dickhead.

In my youth, I used to think saying you like one thing short changes your chance of having a common interest, while saying “Oh, I like everything” is essentially announcing your candidacy for the Least Interesting Man in the World, which meant you needed to have an answer worth hearing.  I now know that's not the case. The reality is someone is just making small talk with me.  

So what kind of music am I into? Everything...but not everything…. kind of like that Meatloaf song, “I will do anything for love, but I won’t do that” (My third favorite song to wrongfully assume is referring to butt-sex, right behind Inner Circle’s “Sweat (A La La Long)” and Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl.”)  I like music that can hit you from different angles.  The harder/more ways it can hit you, the better.  I've narrowed these ways down to a basic three that generally work for me:

1) Ear test.  

Pretty simple. You listen to the record, if you're tapping your toes, then check.  Sometimes albums do this in waves like the Pixies Doolittle.  You like half of the songs at first, don't like the other half, listen enough times and your taste kind of inverses with you eventually LOVING the other half you originally couldn’t handle.

2.) Wait, what the fuck did they just say?

Some people like to pay attention to the guitar parts, others dig bass lines and drum beats, which is all cool, but personally I pay the most attention to the lyrics.  I enjoy being rewarded for a close listen.  Tasty nugs my friends, dig and ye shall find.

And lastly...

3.) This has to be part of something bigger, like a conspiracy or some insane artistic statement that I could never comprehend.

If I'm on Wikipedia researching song origins/meanings, we're getting close.  If I listen to an album enough, and it becomes the soundtrack to a movie I've written in my head with my own unstable psychosis...clear plot, beginning, middle and end- we've met the criteria.  

...that I've never been out in the sun. 

So that brings us here.  Trust by Elvis Costello.  My love of Costello kind of just showed up one day. I'd heard radio stuff, read the praises in Rolling Stone, seen him pop up in an Austin Powers sequel to serenade me (a la Burt Bacharach from the first film), and at some point I decided to take a run at him.  I bought Rhino's double disc Elvis Costello’s greatest hits, got hooked, stumbled upon some fools folly at the local record store when three of his remastered CDs (Armed Forces, Imperial Bedroom, and Trust), somehow made it into a used resale bin and now we're pretty much here.

The artwork on two of these albums was fantastically nutso. Imperial Bedroom sort of looks like what you'd expect Pablo Picasso to paint after he spent 20 minutes leafing through an issue of Hustler, and Armed Forces has a giant painting of oh I don't know, just a couple fucking elephants who seem ready to stomp the shit out of everything. In this case you can only find the artist and album name if you know where to look, whereas with Trust it's just an unassuming portrait of Mr. Costello staring at something or someone over my shoulder from just above his tinted horn rimmed glasses.  

As it was, all three of these CDs were a solid chunk of Costello at his best. Trust seemed okay at first.  Having experienced the full canon in retrospect provided a little more hindsight than might have been afforded when this puppy released in '81. A couple songs were instantly favorites, others didn't exactly do it for me, and you know how this usually goes...  Trust seemed to hover in limbo between his bubble gum pop, and his 'slice my wrists until I bleed out in the bathtub' sad stuff. (There used to be a time when a mans only choice for music to listen to while you wallow in self-pity was to buy a stack of Willie Nelson records, but when Costello got bummed he proved that market was by no means cornered).

So track by track first impression, listening through the cd front to back, on a five sausage scale went as follows:

1) Clubland	(2 out of 5)
2) Lover's Walk	(6! out of 5)
3) You'll Never Be a Man	(4 out of 5)
4) Pretty Words	(5 out of 5)
5) Strict Time	(4 out of 5)
6) Luxembourg	(2 out of 5)
7) Watch Your Step	(3 out of 5)
8) New Lace Sleeves	(5 out of 5)
9) From a Whisper to a Scream	(1 out of 5)
10) Different Finger	(2 out of 5)
11) White Knuckles	(4 out of 5)
12) Shot With His Own Gun	(2 out of 5)
13) Fish 'N' Chip Paper	(2 out of 5)
14) Big Sister's Clothes	(3 out of 5)

For those of you Moneyball analytic fans at home, you’re probably wondering “Hmmm the album scores a 45 out of 75, does that mean he picked an album that scored at a 60% as his ultimate album? He must be smoking crack and he probably sucks at everything.”  Now I’m not in any position to say if any of that is false or not - but I can tell you that this album is more of a grower than a show-er. (And it's not just me. No single from this album cracked the British top 40 and yet it still seems to always get really nice reviews from actual music critics).

Trust me, I have one up my rear too.

Dig a little deeper, pay attention to the lyrics.  The album is a goldmine. I sat down and took notes on what I think about each song, but the result was nothing short of a George R. R. Martin novella (minus the dragons and incest), so for brevity sake, here’s an extended snapshot:

We open with "Clubland."  What is this song even about…? Who gives a shit, this album is all about tones and moods.  Everything is packaged to look like one thing, but actually be something else, and I think that’s where this album makes it’s mark.  You hear the guitar paired with piano from the get-go, and it starts fun but ends up plenty sinister.  For the longest time I thought one of the lyrics was “with a handful of bananas,” because why not? I don’t know much about current British politics, let alone what the climate was like in the 80s.

The next song, “Lover’s Walk’ is unlike anything else I’ve heard Costello do.  When the guitar and piano drop out and it’s just vocals and a drum beat, it’s audible bliss.  I’m still floored that this track never made his double album greatest hits.

Song three, “You’ll Never Be a Man” seems like the worlds most mediocre throwaway at first listen. But those freaking lyrics, man.  At first it seems like he’s singing about being on the delivering end of a Las Vegas hotel domestic violence knockout, or maybe he’s just mad at a local politician, but again who cares?  For a while I was mishearing the lyrics in a way that made it seem like he was just trying to get a reluctant lady into bed.  “You strike a profile on the low side of imagination. My eyes climb down to find the point of possible saturation.”  Wait, did he just say what I think he did?

The next song starts off with him getting slapped, and uses the term “booby prize.”  What’s a booby prize? I don’t know, but I do know I want one.  “Pretty Words” is another song that could be about 4 different things, and starts of happy but ends up with millions of people people massacred (that’s not hyperbole, it’s in the song).

Guitar licks and jumping piano keys start the next track, and it seems like it’s going to be a light ditty, but it's just as dark and twisted as the rest.  “Strict Time” has some of my favorite lyrics on the album.  “Oh muscles flex and fingers curl, and a cold sweat breaks out on a sweater girl.”  So it’s about getting hot and heavy right? Then he makes mention to “musical valium,” “smoking the everlasting cigarette of chastity,” and “cute assistants stay alive, more like a handjob than a hand jive.” Oh. Yet another song that’s probably about something political and topical.  First listen is like a solid three minutes of “wait, did he just say what I think he said?”    

Other tidbits of note: “Luxembourg” and “Watch Your Step” are rife with paranoia for God only knows what.  “From a Whisper to a Scream” sounds like they produced this album wasted, which they did*, and the result is a track that sounds like its playing off a cassette you left in the sun for 3 weeks.  The theme spanning from “New Lace Sleeves” to “From a Whisper to a Scream” to “Different Finger” to “White Knuckles” and ending with “Shot With His Own Gun” could be it's own Greek tragedy.  “New Lace Sleeves” might be one of my favorite songs ever on it’s own, but it fits well.  A little too well...

I recently listened to the full album three times back to back, enjoying the first run, trying to catch the best lyrics on the second take, and then indulging my own mental breakdown with a eureka moment on trip number three.  What if this entire fucking album is just one long story? IF it was, there would be sex, betrayal, jilted lovers, a philandering male lead, chicks getting smacked like a prodigy video, possible murder, and then a tease at the end.  Then I listened to the vinyl press, with its track list broken into two respective sides… sweet Mother of Jesus, what if it’s TWO SEPARATE LONG STORIES?!  Not positive how it works for me that well, but it does.  What happens in what song I’ll leave up to you, but know that when he tells the chick to put her ring on a different finger, and he doesn't know her last name, implied adulterous boots are about to be suggestively knocked.

Of course none of this babbling is Costello’s intended effect.  He wrote these as separate songs, with separate inspirations, and various targets to pen a quip about, (usually either the government or his wife, neither of who you'd say really had his “trust” at the time) but I finally realized the phrase “from a whisper to a scream” is meant to be all sorts of dirty, so I’m running with it.  Get her attention, earn her trust, and wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. Elvis you sly boots you.

So in short, the too long; didn’t read [TL:DR] version of this is basically:

Trust does things to me.  Lots of things.  That is why I pick it as my ultimate album.

*As Costello himself states on linear notes of a Trust reissue:

“This was easily the most drug-influenced record of my career... It was completed close to a self-induced nervous collapse on a diet of rough 'scrumpy' cider, gin and tonic, various powders... and, in the final hours, Seconal and Johnnie Walker Black Label."

Island in the Sun

For Christmas, my mother gave me a DVD version of an old home movie. Filmed over the course of two weeks when I was an ultra-exuberant four-year-old, it's a fascinating familial time capsule, mostly for reasons that aren't applicable here. However, two segments contain my father filming me as I writhe/dance around the room. The first is Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel" and the second is Dire Straits' "Walk of Life". It's a slice of late 80s life, showing what he was listening to in 1988 (thank Odin it wasn't Ratt), how he influenced me (both artists are still huge for me), and how important music/his music room was in his life (he has a reel-to-reel (!!) prominently displayed in his music setup). For the next 25 or so years, we shared music in that same way, me foolishly bumbling about, him steadily guiding my tastes back to what was right.

He always shared with me from the minute music could make its way into my ears. I can pinpoint at least twenty songs that I remember hearing with him first time as a young boy, always on his killer system. Playing it in the wrong setting or on the wrong system was a waste of time. He would bring me down into his crazy music room, turn down the lights, and blast my prepubescent ears off with whatever thrilled him. I'm not sure I always got it, and I just assumed that everyone's dad wanted them to hear the Spin Doctors' "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" at neighbor-rattling levels, but it made me feel cool. All I knew was, I wanted to return the favor.

There was rarely a prouder moment for me than when I could bring something home to share with HIM. Due to the basic restrictions of youth, I didn't really have the chance to do this until I struck out on my own, went to college, and started coming home with burned CDs. Sharing and getting the nod of approval from my friends was a big deal, but bringing something to him was akin to Indy picking the correct Grail. I found a few of said CDs recently, and well, those first few times were pretty rough. Thankfully, I got better at it. Whether it was the refinement of my taste, me being more attuned to what he was going to like, or a combination of many things, it got to the point where I knew immediately if it was going to pass the test.

Looking back, what amazes me the most is that he never, ever, not even once, criticized anything I brought him (and I brought him some real rubbish). Over time, I learned to decipher his code, though. The more artists he cited as derivational influences, the more he was just placating me, patiently waiting for the next song on my queue. However, the more specifics he mentioned about the musicianship/vocals, the more he dug it. Every now and again, I'll be damned if I don't find myself doing the same thing now when I listen to newly recommended music.

That brings us around to Bahamas is Afie. It was one of those albums (like countless others) where my first thought was to send it to him. In fact, I was a mere three tracks in, driving to the store with my wife, when I went to Amazon on my phone, immediately shipping him a copy. Upon its arrival, my sister was serving the role of his DJ at this point in his life, and she cued it up. I didn't have the pleasure of experiencing it with him that first time, but I already knew. The man who taught me how to love music had already molded me and my tastes in a way that there was no way he could be let down. Though he had lost the ability to communicate verbally, my suspicions were nonetheless solidified when I got a text from my sister saying he wanted to hear it again. This was the ultimate level of acceptance. Play it again.

Normally, these entries are more focused on the music itself, and this album brings that in spades. It's bathed in gorgeous melodies, soothing strings, and subtle guitar flourishes. It has all the harmonies, flawless production, and easygoing Canadian demeanor that any album could want. But the lyrical content is what really stands out. Figuring out the complexities of time, loss, and balancing all the world throws at you is fairly common ground for musicians. But this collection of ruminations struck a chord that I know resonates throughout my bloodline.  My sleeping son awoke just now, literally bobbing his head fresh out of slumber, the minute "All the Time" came on. Eating a rice puff concoction a few moments later, he relentlessly shuffled his feet to "Little Record Girl". This will forever be that album.

The way life goes meant this was the last album we ever shared. It will resonate with me the same way those aforementioned songs did long ago when my dad played them for me the first time. It's worth listening to for a variety of reasons, a few of which were hopefully covered above. But in the end, the gift it gives me is the same gift my father was able to imbue in me: a love and appreciation for an art form rivaled by no other.  It goes without saying how deeply I will miss my dad. Thankfully, he will forever live on in music like this. Play it again.

Shaffer: 2014 Trimmed Down

Merry Christmas to all! A quick note on my thinking: 

            I agree with MuZack and HoboKeith that The Basement Tapes was the best overall release but I'm leaving that out. I chose to only stick with new albums for my list in the interest of highlighting newly written and recorded music.  That Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack was awesome, too.  I enjoyed the Cloud Nothings, Woods and The Men albums and had a hard time deciding between those three and Real Estate for tenth. Ultimately, I went Real Estate although if I wrote this list another day I may have picked a different one.  They were all pretty good but I can't see myself listening to any of the four I just mentioned on any sort of a regular basis in the future.  The other nine, however, were all pretty awesome and I fully enjoyed getting into each of them at various times of the year.  Ok, enough of that and on to my list:

10. Real Estate - Atlas

Since I get to listen to music for around 75% of my work day, I get to listen to anything I'm even remotely interested in so that's basically the only reason I grabbed this and gave it a whirl.  It grew on me after a few listens.  I liked it enough at work to give it a shot at home on my own time and if you're in the right mood it works nicely.  Pretty mellow, chill, jangly vibe throughout that eventually made a lot of the album blend together.  "Had to Hear", "Past Lives" and "Primitive" were highlights for me.

9. Weezer - Everything Will Be Alright In The End

Go ahead and laugh but I honestly enjoyed this album.  The lyrics are pretty atrocious for most of it but the music is great and the songs are well written.  Most of it is pretty catchy, faux-vintage sounding Weezer.  I like these guys quite a bit and it's nice to hear they can still put out a good album.  After Raditude and Hurley I gave up hope and almost didn't bother downloading this but thankfully I did and it ended up being one of the better surprises this year for me (unlike the extreme disappointment that was the Julian Casablancas/Voids release).

8. Ryan Adams - Ryan Adams

It's good to see Ryan Adams is back with another good album.  I tend to like most of what this guy puts out so if you like Ryan Adams generally, I'd say you'd probably like this album.  This one has more of a late 70's/80's Tom Petty radio vibe in general, which I'm totally digging.  "I Just Might" just might be one of the best songs he's written in quite a while.  I love how he channels that dark, Bruce Springsteen feeling of helpless desperation in the (kinda) laughable lyrics.  The lyrics are kinda laughable in the same way that they usually are, in the same way that the album cover is laughable.  I mean, come on dude, do we need that extreme, brooding close up with your messy hair covering your face up?

7. Black Lips - Underneath The Rainbow

This one was good, not as good as I was hoping for but few albums usually are.  More of what I like from these guys, sloppy 60's garage rock.  As the Hobo mentioned, horrible lyrics here and there. One thing worth mentioning, if you're going to get this album, make sure to seek out the alternate version of "Funny".  Not only is the alternate better than the album cut but it's better than any of the songs on the album...in my opinion, that is.

6. The War On Drugs - Lost In The Dream

I only REALLY liked the first song when I first listened to the album and thought the rest was a bit dull.  But then again, I was listening at work.  When I got around to throwing this on in the car, or at home, I got a chance to absorb these songs and realized they're fucking awesome.  "Burning" ended up being probably one of my favorite songs of the whole year.  It sounds like it could have been on the radio right next to anything on "Born in the USA" back in the 80's in the best possible way.  The production on the album, and overall sound, is a bit similar to the Ryan Adams album.  The songs are typically pretty long (5+ minutes for most) but don't feel that long when you're in them.  I'd recommend this one to most people.  I am almost ashamed of myself for pretty much refusing to listen to it because of how much Pitchfork was blowing it.  They just happen to have a habit of hyping up bad shit but sometimes they DO manage to give a good album due credit.

5. Brian Jonestown Massacre - Revelation

Good one by these guys.  If you're into what they do, go for it.  If not, don't worry about it.  This is better than the last few they put out and sounds like Anton has found a way to blend what he was doing in the 90's to the last few albums he's been writing.

4. Foxygen - ...And Star Power

Meh...if I took away points for bad songs this album would be off the list but thankfully I like a full album's worth of material out of the 2 1/2 album length.  I whittled this down to a 12 song play list that runs around 40 minutes and it comes out sounding like a good Foxygen album.  I still like the first two better, with Take the Kids Off Broadway being my favorite but this one is still awesome at times.  That Star Power medley is just great and "How Can You Really" was so awesome it got me into Todd Rundgren.

3. Ty Segall - Manipulator

Thanks IronFishballs! I saw a review of this album that intrigued me and then saw something about how he "killed" on a late night show.  Watched the late night performance and was NOT impressed.  Checked out his discography and saw 3 albums a year over the last 6 years...fuck this guy.  Then El Fishlantern randomly recommended it to me a few months later so I figured I'd give it a whirl.  It's hard to describe why I like this album so much so I'll just say the songs are well written (mostly), there are only like 4 songs I'm not a huge fan of, out of 17 and it's very guitar heavy.  Not heavy guitars but guitar all over.  Crazy fast strumming, solos and such added with a glam vibe that reminds me of Bowie at times and really works for me.

2. Spoon - They Want My Soul

Great album, one of my favorites by these guys.  Right up there with Kill The Moonlight and Gagagagagagagagagagaga in my book.  I could see a bunch of these songs ending up on the radio. Maybe they are on the radio but I don't know because I'm too busy trying to listen to the 10 new albums I download a day while I'm driving around.  There's not a single song on here that I don't like.  If I had to pick a song that is a bit weaker than the others, I'd go with "Inside Out"or "Rent I Pay", which just happen to be the first two songs on the album.  The title track, "Do You" and "Rainy Taxi" are my favorites here.  Did want to add that I'm a bit surprised TheLantern snubbed this one, considering you're a Spoon fan and all, dude.  Not even an honorable mention, what the fuck? (Fishlantern/Editors note: This has been remedied in my updated list. You were absolutely right. I done messed up...)

1. Liars - Mess

I didn't mention this one to most of you guys because I highly doubted it would be your cup of tea.  These guys seem to get better with each album they put out.  Worth noting is that they change their style a bit on each album. I grabbed this one and when a song off it came up on shuffle I couldn't imagine what the fuck my phone was playing but it couldn't have been something I had put on there to listen to.  After I got over the initial shock of what direction these guys had gone (from guitars on the last album I heard by them from 2010 to this electronic, industrial madness), I realized this was some of the best music they've written yet.  I was only into the first half of the album until I caught them live earlier this year.  After that it was all over for the other albums in contention for my top spot.